Project: Conflict Prevention & Resolution
Like all human communities, our alternative communities struggle with internal conflict. We also have to deal with conflict from external sources because we are not normative. Additionally, conflict is often more intense for those who try to build, represent, or gather community together because of their visibility and implied authority.
House of Leather Heart focused on research and development of various tools to reduce internal community conflict. These tools are in the form of writings and classes (live or video) that have been developed to help others understand, avoid, reduce, and resolve conflict situations.
A short listing of existing resources are listed below. Follow individual links to the full resource.
Index
This is an index of the items described below. They're listed approximately in reverse chronological order of when they were first developed.
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Version 22Oct2026
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16 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored class
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Summary:
Cultural Appropriation can be an inherent point of conflict in alternative (Kink, BDSM, Leather) communities that can require unique tools for those of us in the alternative communities prevent and resolve. We have been meaning to add to my work “Tools for Reducing Internal Community Conflict” on this topic for some time, but had been distracted by other things. Recently, a really good short writing came through my feed on the topic related to how it had impacted the alternative communities. This writing explores this difficult community conflict subject area with the intent of developing foundations for a future prevention and resolution tool.
[H] Disappointed in Your Community? This May Be Why.
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Version 8Jul2026.
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34 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Class discussion
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Summary:
From my earliest moments in “our community” of alternative lifestyles, leather, kink, etc., I have been mentally and physically nourished. I have had mind-expanding discoveries and found happiness. Yet I also experienced periodic disappointment over why the community somehow failed me.
This writing is about disappointment about a community-level issue. That could mean one person, a few people, an organization, an event, a venue, a title family, a leather club, a local scene, or even a whole city of alternative lifestyle humans.
I've been working on this writing at a low level for about two years, struggling with ways to describe how to define a community in context of ability to resolve conflict.
More fully exploring that topic and watching community more closely led me to include "disappointments" in community that are other than conflict. When one of our desires is not met, we might be disappointed. Considering that breadth led me to this structure as a tool.
[G] The Leather & Kink Narcissist Playbook
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Version 3July2026
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21 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored class
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Summary:
Wouldn’t it be nice to have the Playbook of one’s unreasonable, unethical, toxic, social adversaries to defend oneself against such tactics? It might save so much time and drama in our community if these tactics could be identified and called out – at least questioned for clarity. Most of us would welcome clarifying questions to make sure our intentions and words were better understood – but not those who are unethical and manipulative actors. It gets in their way. They will criticize exposing the Playbook.
[F] Ethical Accountability - Structure & Approach
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Version 17Jun2026.
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16 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored Class
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Summary:
Seeking accountability is good for any human community. Simply saying, “I’m sorry, my bad” for a minor transgression is accountability. More complex situations come about when there are different perspectives, different values, different definitions, more severe issues, or when those involved have different objectives in a resolution or don’t want resolution at all. A troubling approach in our community is the use of accountability as a weapon that inflicts unnecessary damage upon itself, particularly those involved in the conflict. Excessive punitive behavior regarding accountability culture can, and has, damaged many parts of our community. How and why should we seek accountability? When is it being used as a weapon? When is Punishment or suffering valid for those that cause harm?
[E] Surrounded by Assholes - What do you do?
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Version 4Jun2026
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8 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored class
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Summary:
Sigmund Freud never actually said, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
I’ve seen this fun misquote before but was inspired by a recent graphic post of this quote to respond with some thoughts. This seems like great advice because one result of asshole interaction will be to undermine your confidence in yourself (and others) passively due to their lack of concern, or actively due to pursuit of their objectives. If you’re lucky, you might endure one asshole. But a flock of assholes at once or a series of assholes over time is a challenge and may make it difficult to maintain your self-esteem.
[D] Conflict Resolution Techniques: Healthy versus Weaponized
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Version 11July26, 25May26 to 28Apr26
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12 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored Class
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Summary:
As humans, we have conflict. Most people have the skills to resolve most conflict. Some situations are complex and difficult to resolve. Some people don’t have skills or interest to resolve conflict. More importantly, some individuals or group use community-toxic and relationship-toxic approaches to solve conflict. This results in subversion of the situation toward their own solution objectives by weaponizing conflict resolution, often causing immense harm to communities and individuals. While some may do this intentionally and maliciously, it is important to realize others may be acting through panic, trauma, social pressure, group loyalty or ignorance.
[C] Tools for Reducing Internal Community Conflict - By DCC - Class lecture & videos
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Version 30Oct26, 11jan26, 14Jan24
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3 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored class, Videos
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Summary:
Tools for Reducing Internal Community Conflict is an advanced, concept-dense class focused on recognizing, understanding, preventing, and navigating conflict in human communities. While grounded in the lived realities of alternative, leather, and kink spaces, the tools presented apply broadly to any group where strong emotions, diversity, leadership, and shared values intersect.
The full class duration is 8+ hours long (and growing) with a summary version available at 3 hours. Components of the class can be taught in 30 min to 1 hour.
Conflict is inevitable—but endless drama, burnout, and community fracture are not. This class explores why conflict escalates, how certain patterns repeat, and what practical frameworks can help individuals and communities respond more effectively. Participants will examine common sources of conflict, factors that intensify harm, and the limits of traditional “just talk it out” advice.
Rather than offering simple answers or moral judgments, the class presents a structured toolbox: recognizing conflict patterns, assessing intensity, avoiding drama cycles, understanding trauma-informed responses, and choosing proportionate strategies for prevention and resolution. Topics include community perception clashes, drama dynamics, cultural conflict styles, codes of conduct, vetting, mediation, restorative approaches, and when disengagement or removal is necessary.
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18Jun2027, Reproduced with permission
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4 min Read
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Copyright NCSF
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Availability: Writing
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Summary:
This is a resource from NCSF that aligns with the project on community conflict. It is reproduced with permission for convenience and is available on the NCSF website.
[A] Class Text: Improving Community Inclusion
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Version 30Oct26, 20Apr25, 12Dec23
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17 min read
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Copyright 2026, Domum Corium Cordis (LeatherHeart), DaddyBearMike
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Availability: Writing, Tailored class
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Summary:
Purpose of this writing is to convey ideas, structures, and tools to bring more inclusion to alternative lifestyle communities. It is a written form of a 90-120 minute class that is typically presented live. This class has been delivered in many forms adapted to the audience, times, and areas of inclusion that are important to the community.
Note: This textual material does not cover variations of the class, withfocus on particular inclusion concepts, that are prepared for each location.